careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
