i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
