i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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