remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
