put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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