Me too!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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