We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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