I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
