Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
