Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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