so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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