We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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