everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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