C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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