who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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