I need help removing her.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
BRING THE BAGELS
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
