So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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