First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize