You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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