I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
