That's intense
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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