You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize