awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
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A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Alive.
So much puke
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize