All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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