found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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