do herpes really smell.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
