oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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