The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
