The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
