Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
