BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
