She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
