My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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