this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize