New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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