He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
