i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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