Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
