Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
