the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
