Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
