maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
