i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
