My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
