the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
