I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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