Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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