is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
