I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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