the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
