Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i think im in europe. pls send help
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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