I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
