I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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