Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize