Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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