At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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