After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
