my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
