I hate all girls vehemently.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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