i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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