Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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