I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
